12 Days of Asthma

On the first day of Christmas,
my respiratory consultant prescribed to me
An Aminophylline IV!

On the second day of Christmas,

my respiratory consultant prescribed to me
Two crap lungs
And an Aminophylline IV!

On the third day of Christmas,
my respiratory consultant prescribed to me

(Best of Three) Peak Flows
Two crap lungs
And an Aminophylline IV!

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my respiratory consultant prescribed to me

Four Xolair injections

(Best of Three) Peak Flows
Two crap lungs
And an Aminophylline IV!

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my respiratory consultant prescribed to me

Five mg Salbutamol nebs
Four Xolair injections

(Best of Three) Peak Flows
Two crap lungs
And an Aminophylline IV!

On the sixth day of Christmas,
my respiratory consultant prescribed to me
Six failed attempts at blood gases

Five mg Salbutamol nebs
Four Xolair injections

(Best of Three) Peak Flows
Two crap lungs
And an Aminophylline IV!

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my respiratory consultant prescribed to me
Seven days off sick
Six failed attempts at blood gases

Five mg Salbutamol nebs
Four Xolair injections

(Best of Three) Peak Flows
Two crap lungs
And an Aminophylline IV!

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my respiratory consultant prescribed to me
Eight back to back nebs
Seven days off sick
Six failed attempts at blood gases

Five mg Salbutamol nebs
Four Xolair injections

(Best of Three) Peak Flows
Two crap lungs
And an Aminophylline IV!

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my respiratory consultant prescribed to me
Nine hours in A&E – waiting
Eight back to back nebs
Seven days off sick
Six failed attempts at blood gases

Five mg Salbutamol nebs
Four Xolair injections

(Best of Three) Peak Flows
Two crap lungs
And an Aminophylline IV!

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my respiratory consultant prescribed to me

Ten litres of oxygen for breathing
Nine hours in A&E – waiting
Eight back to back nebs
Seven days off sick
Six failed attempts at blood gases

Five mg Salbutamol nebs
Four Xolair injections

(Best of Three) Peak Flows
Two crap lungs
And an Aminophylline IV!

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my respiratory consultant prescribed to me
Eleven different tablets (that aren’t working)
Ten litres of oxygen for breathing
Nine hours in A&E – waiting
Eight back to back nebs
Seven days off sick
Six failed attempts at blood gases

Five mg Salbutamol nebs
Four Xolair injections

(Best of Three) Peak Flows
Two crap lungs
And an Aminophylline IV!

On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my respiratory consultant prescribed to me
Twelve prednisolone tablets (which are fattening)
Eleven different tablets (that aren’t working)
Ten litres of oxygen for breathing
Nine hours in A&E waiting
Eight back to back nebs
Seven days off sick
Six failed attempts at blood gases

Five mg Salbutamol nebs
Four Xolair injections

(Best of Three) Peak Flows
Two crap lungs
And an Aminophylline IV!

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