Xolair and Feeling Sorry For Myself

Just a quick update today. As I write this (on my phone so apologies for typing mistakes) I am sat in hospital feeling pretty down, to be perfectly honest I am feeling sorry for myself which is something that I don’t usually do but for some reason today is different. I have had a rough weekend with my asthma and never left the house from Friday evening when I got home from work until coming to the hospital this morning (Monday) for my 4 weekly Xolair injections. My chest has been tight all weekend, I’ve had a nasty cough and surprising for me I have had a fair bit of wheeze. My sats have been all over the place all weekend and the nebuliser has had a fair bit of hammer. I am not certain as to why I have gone downhill this weekend but I am guessing that in part it is due to me being due my Xolair, for some reason I always seem to struggle towards the end of the 4 weeks, possibly as the benefits of the injections begin to wear off. Another reason maybe the strange weather we are experiencing, over the last few days we have gone from cold to pretty hot and humid, we have also had strong winds and some showers. 

So to be honest I was feeling shattered, down and not in the best of health when I arrived at hospital this morning for the injections. My pre injection sats were slightly better than what they were over the weekend but they still weren’t great and my blood pressure was very high. As a combination of my sats, my current health and previous reactions to the injections the hospital will not let me out at the moment. I was initially told that I would only have to wait 1 hour today following my injections (which I have now been taking for a year) but as a precaution they have changed their minds, I will be in until well after lunch even if my sats improve, if they don’t improve who knows?

To cap it all, as I was only expecting to be here for 1 hour I didn’t bring my iPad and just to compound things as a result of the recent cyber attacks the wifi is down and so I am having to make do with my phone and a weak and intermittent phone signal to help me pass the time. In addition to this I was supposed to be going straight from here to work which as it stands will now not happen, this means that I will have to take today as another days holiday or as a sick day which means I won’t get paid and will add to an already poor attendance record. Just to add to my mood it must be over 100 degrees in here, no fans, no air conditioning and all of the windows are closed.

Writing this (and reading it as well) I can understand why I am feeling a little bit down but I hate the fact that I am feeling sorry for myself, in some respects it makes it even worse that I know that I am feeling sorry for myself. It’s pretty pathetic really, I am currently sat in a diagnostics ward surrounded by people who all appear to be in a lot worse health than me. I just need to snap out of it. 

I need my health to pick up, if  I allowed home and I get back to work tomorrow I have a fairly long drive to Middlesbrough which I could really do without but I would rather be doing that than sitting in hospital. 

I am getting frustrated because by May my health is usually improving but so far this year it isn’t. This is all the more strange as I feel that my asthma has been a lot better this year, I have only had one asthma attack that required an hospital admission, I have not had an admission (for asthma) for over 3 months and I managed to get back to work a lot quicker than usual. Despite this in general I feel as though I have not felt as well as I often do. It is all very strange, when I am feeling bad I don’t feel as bad as I usually do but I never seem to feel as well as well as I have done previously (in between attacks). This is obviously effecting my mental state somewhat and possible explains why I am feeling so down. 

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  1. Jim 15/05/2017 Reply
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